Cruise Friends
Basically I am a novelist. I have written one terrorist thriller entitled Nine Lives Too Many and a suspenseful, modern ghost story called The Daemon in Our Dreams. I have a new novel forthcoming which deals with rice queens. Most of my fictional activities are chronicled on my website www.senneffhouse.com . Every once in a while I like to go back to where I started as a writer in the field of travel writing. My roots. I particularly like travel writing with bits of humor interspersed. Here s a sample:
If you’ve ever been on a cruise ship, perhaps you’ve met my friends. After a while, you just become one big, dysfunctional family.
Cruising Chester:
...the cruise lines that begin with C . The Carnival Cruise line has been known as the Fun Ship . They have 21 funships and have been in business for over 30 years. Their ships feature a waterslide, usually 22 ...
Pilot Boat Phil: “I take pictures of the pilots and pilot boats in every port. I have a collection of over 200 different pilots. And I rate them. When the seas are rough, and they make a smooth transfer, they get a 10. If the ship stops to pick them up, they don’t get a good rating. The best one ever was in the English Channel. The pilot
...on cruise ships ... if a cruise liner cannot sell all of the tickets in time for the cruise, then they usually offer huge discounts on their tickets. And if you are the lucky one who happens to be at ...
Lecturing Larry: “Excuse me. Did I hear you say you’ve never been to Monaco? The population is 31,719; the area is three-quarters of a square mile; the national budget is …”
Betty the Barracuda: “My sign is Gemini, and your sign is Taurus. You know what that means. I love the way that gold chain of yours nestles so nicely in the black hair on your chest. If you hadn’t told me you were on Medicare, I’d never have thought it. I was thinking mid-40s.”
Grandma and Grandpa Klutz: “And this is a picture of our grandson climbing up
...guess this a dilemma you actually WANT to face A Cruise ship holiday a completely different experience to a traditional vacation. Basically, the whole idea is to relax and being taken care for and entertained by exceptionally well trained and ...
Travel Agent Teddy: “What did you pay? Oh, too bad. I could have gotten your cabin for $300, including port charges, airfare and transfers. I always get three category upgrades for my clients. Next time call me. My number is 800-SAVALOT. I always send a bottle of Norwegian champagne to a client’s room.”
Boring Brad: “Uh, I was in this place in 1964, and they had, uh, a good beer in a place at some beach, and, uh, I think I went swimming here. Maybe not …”
Booze Cruise Betty: “What’s the next port?
...not get you a discounted cruise. This is because some cabins go unsold as the cruise date approaches, so the cruise line will create last minute discount packages to sell the remaining cabins rather than leave them unoccupied. You may ...
Fred and Ginger: “We’ve been on hundreds of cruises. They call us the king and queen of ballroom dancing. We dance before dinner, after dinner, at tea dance, at the captain’s reception, in the ship’s atrium. You name it. We can do every dance from the samba to the tango, jitterbug, whatever. Fred’s a podiatrist, and I work for Saks Fifth Avenue in the shoe department. We’re ballroom dancers extraordinaire.”
Claude, the Wanna-Be Captain: “The ship lists three
...the largest ranges are listed below). Running from British Columbia and south into California, the Cascade Mountain Range is the most extensive in the state of Oregon. The range, running through the entire state from north to south, lies approximately ...
Ralph, the Restaurant Critic: “The food on Celebrity is slightly more ostentatious than the food on Costa. The dinner rolls on Princess have more body than those on Carnival. Royal Caribbean’s corned beef hash for breakfast is coarser than the hash on Norwegian Cruise Line.”
Seasick Sam: “I’m wearing nine patches. They said to wear one on your navel, so I am. Last night I thought I was going to die. I haven’t even seen the dining room, and we disembark tomorrow.”
Camcorder Calvin: “Would you let me in next to the rail?
...meals and some beverages, port charges and more. These do not include shore excursions, personal expenses, gratuities, or alcoholic beverages. Taxes are not included, and can vary from $5 to $110 per person. The various Bahamas cruise packages are different ...
Dine-Around Julia and Jesse: “In the morning we have fruit and muffins in the Lido, waffles in the dining room, bouillon on deck at 11, lunch in the Lido, tea and cakes at four, hot hors d’oeuvres in the bar for cocktails, first-seating dinner in the dining room, pizza at 10 in the pizzeria, salads and desserts at the midnight buffet, and before we go to bed, we order BLTs from room service. Neither one of us has ever had angioplasty.”
The Light-Tipping Lewises: “We don’t believe in all this tipping
...mountains to the east, Sitka is considered by many to be the most beautiful of the seaside Alaska towns. The vistas of the area are a large reason why Alexander Baranof, the first Russian Governor of Alaska chose to build ...
Bingo Bertha: “I always go to progressive bingo. I get seven cards for each game, and I can poke out those little holes faster than they can call out the numbers. If they don’t have bingo in heaven, I ain’t going. They better have a
...like budgeting, organizing entertainment, and hiring a minister of course. One making wedding arrangements has no doubt to pass through stresses and strains. Wedding cruise is the lovely idea of cruise liners A wedding can be conveniently arranged on a ...
Lifeboat Drill Lenny: “Hey, you’ve got those straps on wrong. Hey, you’re missing a whistle. Hey, your light isn’t working. Hey, Mister, that strap is supposed to come up through your crotch. Hey, ma’am, please don’t drag your straps through the halls.”
Preparedness Patsy: “On a seven-day cruise, I pack my bags for disembarkation on the fourth day, and I have my luggage in the hall on the fifth night. I’m always the first one off the ship.”
Dolly, the Queen of Disasters: “I’ve read every book and seen every movie about the
...islands. The main Hawaiian Islands that cruise ships visit are Honolulu, Hilo, Kailua-Kona, Nawiliwili and Lahaina. There are many activities including snorkeling with dolphins, waterfall kayaking, whale watching, deep-sea fishing, rainforest adventures, hiking across lava fields, horse back riding, sea ...
Me: I never get seasick; I’m not pedantic, not a cruise maven, not a glutton. But you know what? I do think that the fruit selection they give you in the cabin is better on Royal Caribbean than Princess, and the ship’s newspaper on Celebrity is more literate than the one on Carnival.
John (Jack) Rooney is the author of the terrorist thriller Nine Lives Too Many featuring
...stars had dined, and you look at the murals and original art works knowing they were there in those early days when others before you sat in this room, viewed those same murals, and engaged in the same kind of ...
He was born and educated in Springfield, Massachusetts (Classical High School and American International College). He wrote book reviews and feature articles for the Springfield newspapers.
After receiving his M.A. in Arts and Science from Columbia University, he worked for the Cunard Cruise Lines as a business correspondent at 25 Broadway, went on to serve in the U.S. Army as a
...most active in the peak season between May and September. The Royal Caribbean Cruise Liner is one of the most famous Alaskan cruise liners. Its main ship is the Radiance of the Seas, with sister ships Serenade of the Seas ...